Here I sit nearly a year since my last post sipping on a sweat tea and vodka while most of the population is at a midnight showing of the last Harry Potter film. Oh, but no, this posting has nothing to do with wizards or broom sticks. No, I'm here to reflect on the last 11 months of my life. What have I done in that time? Anything worth mentioning? Most likely not but I'll still move on with sharing my thoughts.
2011 started out pretty good, and it's still up there in "good" years. For sure it's had it's ups and downs, but then again, if it didn't then what would the point be in living? What's been so good then you are asking yourself? Well, let me think.
I did start the year off with a job. I went to many fun and crazy parties. I went to Solvang for the first time and my first casino. I got to see Ke$ha in concert twice! I spent 3 weeks in Arizona and started making plans to move there in hopefully a years time. I spent the 4th of July with my family poolside and drunk. I've learned who my true friends are, in this time of my life. I'm currently waiting to go see Owl City next week.
That might not seem like a lot, and I suppose it's not, but the drama has been minimal and I seem to be getting along with everyone really well. My overall feelings of annoyance and disgust with the world has been minimal. Oh, believe me, it's still there, just not as intense. No, we still haven't moved out of our small apartment and we're all still on top of each other everyday, ready to snap each others necks, but we're dealing. The girls getting older, soon to be 14. No, I still haven't found love, but I'm alright with that.
People are still making remarks that irritate me, but it's only human to not agree with everything everyone says. It's human to be different, and I love that. I'm pretty much happy with myself and my life. All I can ask is for you to be happy for me.
I'm currently looking for work but I haven't found anything yet. I know something is out there and it'll find me when the time is right. For now I'm doing a lot of work on me. No, I'm not working out everyday and trying to lose weight, but I'm working on the emotional side of me. I'm trying to find and keep confidence in myself. Some people just know the right thing to say to beat me back down to square one but I'm working on not letting what people say affect me. I'm doing my best and that's all I can be expected to do. I'm not you, my 100% isn't your 100%. I'm pretty much grateful for everyday I wake up.
If I can help just one person feel better about them-self, then my job is done. I matter to me, but not as much as my friends and family matter to me. My life is already pretty much screwed, so if I can help anyone be happy or able to keep moving on, then I'm alright.
I hope to see you on the light side.
-Eric
